I must admit that I've never been so confused by a player that I love so dearly as I have been by one LaDainian Tomlinson over the last 4 games, beginning in the second half of the Indy playoff game last year.  It hurts me.  It angers me.  I can't focus at work. I cry myself to sleep at night. Ok, that doesn't actually happen, but maybe it will if this mystery continues. 

Where has the once dominant, cut-on-a-dime, beast of a running back that we once knew gone? You know, the guy in the picture to the right that made a really mediocre offense look tits?  Case in point: See number 71 in the far left of that photo right there?  That's Corey Lekkerkerker.  And no, that's not a misspelling. That's a real name and he's a real NFL player. He's now buried somewhere deep on the Cowboys' depth chart, but in LT's dream season of 2006, he got to taste greatness when LT broke the NFL Rushing Touchdown record against the Denver Broncos.  LT used to make dreams come true like that, but now, well, now I'm beginning to wonder if we Charger fans are in for more LT nightmares than we are dreams.

From 2001 to 2006, LaDainian Tomlinson was the greatest running back in the world, and earned his reputation as one of the best backs in NFL history while playing for a terrible to mediocre team to boot, much like my 2nd favorite RB of all time, Walter "Sweetness" Payton.  In fact, statistacally or not, LT was not only the Bolts' best running back, but he was also arguably their best receiver during those first 6 seasons (David Boston, if you're reading this, you sucked!), at least until Gates really started to develop that is.  The Charger offense was often so pathetic that there were times that LT seemed like the only actual paid professional on our side of the field for cryin' out loud.  Sure, there were bright spots in 2002 and 2004 when the Bolts looked legit, but still, the engine room was powered by LaDainian.  Without him, lightning failed to strike.

For so long, though, it was hard to really grasp the greatness that we were fortunate enough to see on a weekly basis.  When you're regularly exposed to something so phenominal, you begin to think it's almost normal.  I definitely did.  Sure, there were plenty of moments when I thought to myself, "Wow, this guy is really, really good", but every year the NFL has a few backs that have good enough years that nobody really completely distances themselves from the pack.  Until 2006, that is.

In 2006, LT was absolutely unstoppable.  Let me throw out some facts for you regarding LT's 2006 season (courtesy of NFL.com and Wikidpedia.com).  I know you've all seen these before, but they merit another look.  Check this out:

-He set an NFL record with 19 touchdowns in 6 games

-He set a Chargers record with three 4 touchdown games

-He set NFL records as the only player to score three touchdowns in 3 straight games, and as the only player to have three games of 4 or more touchdowns in one season

-He became the quickest player to bag 100 touchdowns in their career, hitting the mark in 89 games (The previous record was shared by Jim Brown and Emmitt Smith, who both had 100 in 93 games.  Don't forget all those Pro Bowl lineman Emmitt had, too.)

-He scored his 29th rushing touchdown in game 13, thus breaking Shaun Alexander's record of 28 in 16 games

-He broke a 46-year-old NFL record for most points scored by one player in a season

-He threw two touchdown passes

-His final numbers for the season (31 rushing touchdowns, 3 touchdown receptions, 2 touchdown passes, and 2,323 yards from scrimmage), especially in terms of how unbelievabley well rounded they are, will likely never be touched. 

So how's that for an exclamation point of a season?  No matter how many times you look at those numbers, it's hard not to sit and stare in a state of awe.  The guy was just awesome.  And like I alluded to above, he was just as good in the seasons leading up to that, but he just didn't have as much talent around him, and the Chargers weren't winning, so it went unnoticed.  Imagine what the guy could have done behind the Dallas Cowboys lines of the early to mid 1990's.  Scary...

His '06 regular season success ran over into the now infamous 2006 Divisional Playoff Game against the Pats, when he picked up right where he left off in the regular season, running roughshod all over the talented and wiley New England defense.  Things were looking awfully good for Bolts fans.  But then something weird happened.  Marty Schottenheimer and Cam Cameron, in their infinite wisdom, decided that LT wasn't going to be an important factor in the second half of the biggest game of the season, and suddenly decided to throw the ball more (all that "use the league's best running back to run out the clock and beat down the defense" talk is mularky).  We all know what happened next.  Jesus, I still know exactly how that season went down the toilet in the span of 3o second half minutes, and I was on a plane during the game and didn't even see it.  Anyway, the dream ended and things just haven't quite been the same since then.

Last year, the Chargers and LT started slowly.  Criticism of Norv Turner mounted, the team looked confused, and there were even a few whispers around the league that Tomlinson was losing a step.  What?  Losing a step?  You must be kidding me, we all thought.  Die hard San Diego fans got angry, ever the defenders of our nationally undervalued diamond of a player.  But as the season wore on, and the inconsistency continued, it couldn't go unnoticed that LT was not the LT of 2006.  Of course we all blamed it on Norv, or Ted Cottrell, or the o-line, or the wild fires.  Whatever the excuse, LT was not losing a step, damnit!  

Then, all of a sudden the sun came out and the Chargers went on a roll, winning the final 6 games of the season to win the AFC West on the trot, and finsih at 11-6.  LT again won the rushing title and led the league in rushing touchdowns, and Chargerville was a happy place again.  But for how long?

The Tennessee Titans came to town next, and were barely defeated in the Divisional Playoff game.  We then had to travel to the vaunted RCA Dome to play the defending Super Bowl Champion Colts.  Time to see how far we'd really come under Norvell's tutelage.  All season, through thick and thin, Norv had stuck to his guns and defended his strategy to open up the passing attack instead of relying almost entirely on number 21 as his predecessor had done.  This was going to be the chance to show that he could pull off an unlikely road victory without relying entirely on LT.  Well Norv, be careful what you wish for.

Miraculously, the Bolts did win that game, and they did it without leaning on LaDainian to carry the offense. Unfortunately, this was more due to LT's knee injury, sustained in the 3rd quarter, than it was Norv's strategy.  

The most puzzling part of LT's absence after his injury, though, was why wasn't he coming back? He was still standing on the sidelines, looking for the most part fit and ready to play, but there wasn't a single word from the Chargers staff as to why he wasn't coming back in.  No matter, though, right?  The Bolts snuck out of Indy with a gigantic win and confidence builder, and now they were headed to Foxboro to face the 17-0 New England Patriots in a grudge match.  Scores would be settled, and LT would surely have a part to play.

The week leading up to the game was like torture.  As if it's not hard enough to wait out the week between big games, we had to deal with hourly (as it seemed) injury updates about 3 of our best players: Gates, Rivers, and of course, LT.  Thankfully, we were all buoyed by the fact that Rivers and LT said that barring "setbacks" during the week, they would be playing.  LT even said, if my memory is serving me right, that he would be close to 90%.  Well shit, LT at 90% is better than most backs in the league at 110%, so bring on the Patriots is what a lot of us were thinking.

January 20th, 2008, and the much anticipated gameday was finally upon us.  There were near freezing tempertatures in and around Gillette Stadium - perfect playoff football weather.  The hype machine that is the NFL had built that game up so much you would have thought that the fate of our country rested on its outcome.  The stage was set for a heroic performance from someone, and to be honest, all signs pointed to the Chargers in terms of heroics.  Gates, Rivers and LT were all going to give it a go, and if we managed to win the game, there was no way it could happen without some sort of herculean effort by someone wearing white, yellow and blue. 

Turns out that what happened that afternoon was not only heroic, but it was worthy of the voice of  the NFL Films voice over dude saying something like, "On a freezing cold day in New England, two San Diego Chargers etched their names into the walls of NFL history with performances that defied reason."  Unfortunately, those two Chargers didn't include the name LaDainian Tomlinson.

I don't remember exactly when it happened, but it couldn't have been more than the second offensive series for the Chargers, and LT suddenly takes himself out of the game without anything really happening to him.  WTF?  Before we know it, he's all bundled up on the sidelines, helmet on, Darth Vader visor covering his face, and no word from the Bolts' medical team saying what the hell happened.  Michael Turner was instantly the number 1 back, and along with Philip, Antonio, and the rest of the 2007/2008 San Diego Chargers, he did what he could to cause a whole lot of Bawstun fans to re-think their Super Bowl plans.  Just thinking about the performance my San Diego Chargers put on that January day makes me tear up.  I'm serious. After so many years of disappointment, we actually had a team that didn't get embarassed, even when they had every right to mail that game in and blame it on injuries.  That made me about as proud as I've ever been in my life for something I couldn't control, and it still does today.  

The only problem was that immediately after the game there were questions raised by some media members, the name Deion Sanders comes to mind, about LaDainian Tomlinson's toughness in the face of adversity and injury.  Again....What?  You're questioning the toughness of OUR LT?  You must be crazy.  But you know what was even crazier?  After all the dust settled and the focus moved to the Patriots vs. Giants Super Bowl, I, along with many other Charger fans, started to question LT's toughness, too.

I mean, really, what happened?  If his injury was supposedly relatively minor, why wasn't our # 21 able to play through the pain?  It was the AFC Championship Game for crying out loud!  The game he'd been waiting for since 2001, and likely his entire life.  Isn't there some sort of shot that you can get in the NFL that allows you to basically play through a broken leg?  I was confused, angry, defensive and dejected, among other things.  Over the past 6 years, the NFL and its media had given LT more props than just about any other San Diego Charger in history had ever gotten, and now many of the same media were ripping him to shreds.  Even worse, I wasn't sure whether to agree or crack some skulls in retalation.  After some thought and deliberation, I decided he needed our support and that all the doubts were unfounded.  After all, LT is a running back, and a knee injury, however minor, is nothing to brush off.  If the guy couldn't make his cuts, why not let his more-than-capable back-up, Michael Turner, try and help us out?  So it was settled.  He had my support.

The offseason went by without much word from LT.  As the team began to reassemble in the spring he talked about how, yes, he would be playing with a bit of a chip on his shoulder because of those who questioned him after the Pats game.  San Diegans learned that although he still wouldn't be playing in the pre-season, LT was planning on having one of the best seasons of his career and silencing his doubters.  Well, we're two-and-a-half weeks into the season, and I have more doubts about LT than I ever have.

He started this season with a 16 yard gain,  enabled by one of his trademark stop and bounce moves, which helped him elude a would be tackler and enabled him to dash well past the first down marker and out of bounds.  Alright!  LT is back, we all thought.  This is going to be the season we all hoped.  Not so fast.  The Chargers went on to lose a heartbreaker, but Tomlinson still amassed 97 rushing yards and had a solid game.  What we didn't find out until after the game, though, was that he had a "minor" toe injury that was sustained on his last carry.  Great. I don't know much about toes or toe injuries, but I do know that Antonio Gates sustained a toe injury 9 months ago and he's still not back to normal.

The Charger medical staff, and LaDainian himself even, assured us that we there was nothing to worry about and his missing practice until Thursday was only precautionary.

Well riddle me this medical staff and LT: If the injury was minor, the missing practice precautionary, and the toe not sustaining further injury during the game in Denver, why did we not see #21 on the field at all times? Please, feel free to explain.  I'm all ears.  I know Sproles came in and did a hell of a job, but for the love of all things holy, I am beginning to feel like LT has some splainin' to do, Lucy.

So this is where I'm at emotionally, and where I feel a lot of Charger fans are.  What do we make of our beloved jewel of a running back?  Surely there is no reason to panic, but at what point do we have a right to start asking critical questions?  If the knee injury in New England and the toe injury in Denver were/are worse than they have been made out to be, then for crying out loud, please tell us!  We deserve, no, we need  that honesty, not only to defednd LT, but to keep ourselves sane.  This season is supposed to provide all kinds of positive experiences for the Chargers and their fans, but right now it ain't lookin' so rosy.  We depserately need LT to take us to the promised land, but if he's not healthy we need to know about it because we've been let down too many times here in San Diego.  If we know LT isn't going to be 100% all season, we'll show him the support he deserves.  But by God, if we get told a wonderful story, only to find out it's a facade covering another nightmare ending, the city of San Diego is going to see its suicide rate triple and I'm going to be the first person standing on the ledge.

Mahalo,

TWF