I had one of the coolest experiences of my life tonight. No, it wasn't a trip to The Home Depot. The boring married guy jokes can cease. I, kind audience, watched the Chargers vs. Seahawks Monday Night Football game from the sidelines of Jack Murphy Stadium (I will not call it Qualcomm or "The Q"). And as you might expect, there are more than a few benefits to watching an NFL game from the sideline.

I'll start with the fact that 99% of the time that I was there, I was standing within 5 yards of some crazed, beast of an athlete that I see pumped up like some sort of Greek god on TV every week. For chrissakes, some of these dudes I even use a athletic pawns in something called a "fantasy league." I tried to play it cool with my poker face and act like it was no big deal, but let's be serious; a blind man could have seen the shit-eating-grin I had on my face all night.

Reason number two why the NFL sideline experience is so sweet is Ms. Michelle Tafoya. Hold on, hold on. I know she's not the hottest woman in the world, San Diego or even the pantheon of female sideline reporters, but I'll be damned if the little smile she gave me when we crossed paths at the end of the game didn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling in places I don't like to talk about. She's definitely got some mojo, and knows how to work her public persona. Don't knock it until you see it for yourself, people.

I have to say that the best part of being on the field, though, was the introduction of the starting line-ups and the overall build up in the 10 minutes before kick off. It started with 6 Navy SEALS parachuting onto the field from 4,000 feet up and literally hitting the x that marked their spot. Then the music gets turned up to decibel levels I only thought existed inside a jet engine on take off, and the players come running out (in between two lines of gorgeous cheerleaders no less). This, of course, only fuels the rabid screams of the fans that have inevitably been drinking copious amounts of booze in the parking lot before the game. And finally, just when you think your heart might just hop out of your mouth and hit the ground running, a couple of bad ass Coast Guard helicopters come flying right over the roof of the stadium. At this point, the adrenaline levels of just about every person in the stadium are so outrageous that people are thinking they can fight like Rocky, sing like Mick Jagger and dance like Britney Spears, pre-K Fed. Thankfully, especially for those poor, meek looking Elite Security guys, everyone is united towards the same cause, the only microphone rests in the stadium address announcers booth, and there's no dance floor. Otherwise, security and all the armies in the world wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of containing the madness.

Now, as I write this it's occurring to me that anyone who's been to an NFL game is thinking they have experienced what I just described. Well, no, you haven't. Trust me, and I say this in the most humble tone: everything is magnified 10 fold on the field. The sounds. The smells. The action. All of it is so much crazier when you're on the sidelines that it's hard to put into words. You really feel as if you're part of the action rather than the fantasy-team-owning has been/never-will-be that most of us are. Watching football from the stands, the bar or the couch are all great options, but there is no comparison to what you get on the field. Hell, I couldn't even tell you who made the biggest plays, but I feel like I just took part in a Hollywood production.

So there's that. The NFL sideline experience in a nutshell. It truly is nothing short of awesome. If you ever have a chance to do it, for the love of all things sports, do not, I repeat, do not, turn it down. You might have had a long day at work, or you have to get up early for a big meeting, or whatever. WHO CARES. The pain from all that will pass. Your memory of this type of experience will not. Besides, how many people in their entire lives get the chance to have the ultimate fan experience like this come true for a few hours?

SB